I’m not sure,
I’m not sure if just a hit of dopamine
is enough to fix the state I am in right now.

This feeling,
it's like
when you're running on fumes;
like the tiny droplet seeping from
a wet cloth that has been wrung dry.
It is as intense
as the setting sun you see
at the middle of the ocean.
It is as vast
as the great Gobi desert
for the passing nomads.
But I don’t know what exactly to call it.

Sometimes,
it feels like I’m walking in circles.
I have no place to go,
no end to this journey.
My house,
it doesn't feel like home,
my skin,
it doesn't feel my own.

I feel,
there’s a gaping hole in my chest.
This hole,
it’s like a bottomless pit.
I have tried to fill it
with bits and pieces
from here and there.
But this hollow inside,
it never fills.
It wants more and more
like a black hole
sucking in galaxies
and destroying everything
it takes in.
It remains,
insatiated.

Always,
and forevermore,
I feel this yearning,
that I don’t understand.
It haunts me
like the ghosts
in our granny’s fables.

My eyes,
they seem to seek
for something I don’t notice.
But it still wanders.

My voice,
it screams and calls
for someone whose name I don’t know.

And,
through it all,
I keep living
with uneasiness.